Being ethical: make good choices and leave the rest to God
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009בס”ד
Avot 1:7
(ז) נִתַּאי הָאַרְבֵּלִי אוֹמֵר, 3
1 הַרְחֵק מִשָּׁכֵן רָע, 3
2 וְאַל תִּתְחַבֵּר לָרָשָׁע, 3
3 וְאַל תִּתְיָאֵשׁ מִן הַפֻּרְעָנוּת: 4
R. Yose of Arbel taught:
- Distance oneself from a bad neighbor
- We do not become one, tied, to an evil person
- We do not despair of payback
It is not sufficient to talk table talk about being good. Note that the first verb is active, remove oneself. The second two verbs are reflexive, indicating when we are unable to change the world, we are responsible for changing ourselves. The first bava, or stich, of the Mishnah teaches us that the first act we do is make moral social choices:
- Distance oneself from a bad neighbor.
The verb here is active; we remove ourselves from bad neighbors. While we cannot control who lives next door, if the one living next door needs to get a life, they will not be intimate with us. Maimonides, Deot 6:1, tells us that for most people, morality is mimicry. When bad models abound, make the right choices for oneself.
- We do not become one, tied, to an evil person.
While we cannot control those who live next door, we can control our choices of friends. For some, the friends are “beautiful people,” for others, sheiner Yidn. To be accepted for some as a friend, to be liked by the other you have to be like the other. You must go to the right night club, read the right books, avoid reading books friends would not like. Wear loud clothes, wear a flaming red wig or shiny black Borsolino fedora. If you cannot dance the dancing step, you are outside the social step; if your hat is not sufficiently black, it is assumed that your house is insufficiently kosher. Rather choose friends because they are principled, spend time, with those whose ultimate concerns deal with ultimate issues, and who take God seriously, not socially.
- We do not despair of payback, that God keeps accounts.
God rewards the good by the book, perhaps not in this world. And by allowing ourselves to be influenced by bad people, no good will come of us. After all, woe befalls both the wicked and their associates. [mNega’im 12:6]
Recalling Prof. Neusner’s interpretive rule, see each state on it own, and then in context, we find that we do what is in our power to create a moral environment; we cannot choose neighbors, but we can choose how to relate to them; our choice of friends tells legions about our moral choices and what is important to use. Even though there are realities beyond our control, some choices are not. The call not to despair of payback is not only directed toward others, the undesirable friends and neighbors. We are being judged as well for the community we create, the friends we value, and the values, that define us.